A few weeks ago, my housemate Simon exhibited a better-than-average display of complete stupidity. So there was only one thing to do: I sent the story to Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert) to mock. And he did! The lastest Dilbert newsletter has, as True Tale of an Induhvidual #4:
I attend one of the top universities in the UK. My housemate recently surpassed his usual high standard of stupidity. He needed to open a bottle. After hanging around looking helpless, someone handed him a wine opener (the corkscrew type) that had a bottle opener on one end. My housemate disappeared for five minutes and reappeared with an apologetic look on his face. "I've broken it. I'm sorry."
Under questioning he confessed that he had been trying to screw the corkscrew through the top of the metal bottle cap.
So, yes, he really is exceptionally stupid. My faith in humanity is partially restored. (It will be fully restored if George W. Bush doesn't get reelected).