I Miss You

posted 16 April 2002


I feel for the first time an aching inside
That many have spoken of and many have tried to give to me
Many times I have tried to give to myself
This great gift of an emptiness that one only can fill.

I feel for the first time not a joy at a presence
But a dull aching sorrow at the unnoted absence around my table
Cold lines where arms should be arched round my back,
Cool lips from the ones that my mouth feels it lacks

My mind is awash with senseless emotions
The product of increasingly mindless devotion to you
I gave you a deep part no skill could retrieve it,
And when you are absent I can no longer feel it

But that pain is a joy that at last I have found
Someone whose life can become closely bound to my soul
Close enough that at last I can feel the great hole
That should always have been there.

I've known you just days and been with you mere hours
But already I sense that your arms are a tower not a prison
And I could be locked away for the rest of my life and fail
To notice or care that others call it jail.

But I can't be your wife and I won't be your lover
And I won't be dismissed as significant other I fell
Into your arms and fall into your eyes and into your soul
And feel as if we've shared lives together.

I need you, I feel that I'm joined at the heart
But I want you to feel I am equally part of your life and your soul,
Please don't say you feel differently as I may not survive,
Love may be the ocean into which I've swan dived.

Don't hurt me or leave me or say let's be friends,
I want to stay with you 'til long past the end of my days
And my time on this earth and please say that you know
The same pain that I hurt and I'm dying to show

'Cause I miss you, please miss me, please like me, please care,
Please turn your sweet head when your back feels my stare upon it
Read my mind, share my soul, get my jokes, tell your own,
Be a part of myself that I can't just disown

Please forgive me for moving so far and so fast
But I sense that we have the potential to last
And I won't throw away my one shot at perfection,
Too often my heart only found its reflection

In shiny cold souls that know only themselves,
Who think love as much myth as the Queen of the Elves
Biology isn't the way to true joy
Or we'd all go to bed with a glorified toy

Your body is beautiful but it grew from your mind
And I may have just found the first alike kind
That has the same feelings and works the same way
And I won't put that in danger, won't scare you away

I will cease all my ramblings, I don't care if you kiss me,
Just hold me in your arms and say that you miss me.

I miss you.



I feel for the first time an aching inside the many have spoken of and many have tried to give to me, many times I have tried to give to myself this great gift of an emptiness that only one can fill. I feel for the first time not a joy at a presence but an aching sorrow at the presence of an absence around my table, cold lines where arms should be arching around my back, cool lips where another should be placed against them. I gave for the first time a piece of myself, a part so deep that no surgeon could retrieve it, and now when you are gone I can no longer feel it. The pain is a joy that at last I have found someone whose life can become closely bound to my soul that I at last feel the hole that should always have been there. I've known you just days and been with you mere hours but already I sense that your arms are a tower I can be locked away in for the rest of my life and not care for a moment, I won't be your wife and I won't be your lover I won't be dismissed as significant other I fall into your arms and into your eyes and into your soul and as if we've shared lives together I need you, joined at the heart and I want you to feel I am equally part of your life and your soul, please don't say you feel differently as I may not survive, love may be the ocean into which I've swandived. I have felt this feeling so few times in my life and every time it has been for a one close enough to be called family don't hurt me or leave me or say let's be friends, I want to be with you 'til well past the end of my days and my time on this earth and please say that you feel the same pain that I hurt cause I miss you, please miss me, please like me, please care, please turn your sweet head when your back feels my stare. Read my mind, share my soul, get my jokes, tell your own, be a part of myself that I can't just disown, please forgive me for moving so far and so fast but I sense that we have the potential to last and I won't throw away my one shot a perfection, too often my heart only sees its reflection in shiny cold souls that know only themselves, who think love as much myth as the queen of the elves. Biology isn't the way to true joy or we'd all go to bed with a glorified toy. Your body is beautiful but it grew from your mind and I may have just found the first alike kind that has the same feelings and works the same way and I won't put that in danger by scaring you away I will cease all my ramblings, I don't care if you kiss me, just hold me in your arms and say that you miss me. I miss you.

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