Okay, I'm amused. Those fine people in charge of Harry Potter merchandising came up with a great...

Okay, I'm amused. Those fine people in charge of Harry Potter merchandising came up with a great idea for a Potter-based toy -- a real nimbus 2000 broomstick! It's battery-powered, has sound effects, and, er, vibrates. Which is exactly what you want in a toy that your kids stick between their legs, right? No wonder this guy's 17-year-old daughter loves it so much. Also, I am officially a philistine, having got 0 out of a possible 10 on the BBC's culture quiz. Ah, well.
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My birthday is coming up.

My birthday is coming up.
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The Dow dropped an amusing 355 points yesterday. Raymond, Ed, Martin and basically everyone else...

The Dow dropped an amusing 355 points yesterday. Raymond, Ed, Martin and basically everyone else says that I should stop taking pleasure in the misfortune of others, and I should consider the massive negative effects the stockmarket fall may have on the world economy as a whole. I can see that's a valid point -- it'll be harder for me to get a job in a recession, obviously -- but basically it's like watching the Titanic sinking. Yes, it's horrible, yes it makes you sad. But you're still entertained, and you keep watching until it goes under completely. Yeah, so it's a slow news day. I've been working. But this is better than watching paint dry.
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Your alarm clock may annoy you, but at least it doesn't make your heart stop. Totally unrelated,...

Your alarm clock may annoy you, but at least it doesn't make your heart stop. Totally unrelated, but amusing, you can kill barney and the teletubbies for some surprisingly well-animated but extremely brief fun.
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Heeeeeeere's bloggy! I took Friday off, and went into London. Joy. There I met up with Lee, and...

Heeeeeeere's bloggy! I took Friday off, and went into London. Joy. There I met up with Lee, and found much entertainment in admiring the ever-attractive staff of KuBar before heading off to Popstarz, which I should reiterate is the best club in the world, ever. I ask you: what other club plays Marilyn Manson, Sugababes and Eminem in the same room in the same night? And who, other than me, likes all three of those artists at the same time? The place was designed with me, exclusively, in mind. Saturday afternoon, Ed (aren't I just a flurry a relevant links today?) rolled into town, as did Timothy (beware the Fibonacci-sequence colour scheme) as well as Ed's god-sister Janelle and her husband David, neither of whom have websites as far as I can tell. We went to an extremely fine "Brazillian barbecue" restaurant, which was amazing food at prices that suggested they thought it was amazing, too. We followed this up by attempting to visit Body Worlds, which I've heard is fascinating, but so had about 2000 other...
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I'd forgotten these guys existed, and this is way out of date now, but I'm still amused. What do...

I'd forgotten these guys existed, and this is way out of date now, but I'm still amused. What do you think was the post-September 11 reaction to a band called Anthrax? Speaking of which, I invite you to gaze at the definition of overkill, in the form of CNN's programming schedule for September 11. Hey man, that's cold.
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I have been long in searching. There have been many pretenders to the throne. But finally I have...

I have been long in searching. There have been many pretenders to the throne. But finally I have found it, the holy grail of the procrastinator: the purest waste of time in the entire world. Go. Be awestruck. And hold the button. (Thanks to matt for the link, and Moof for the PCC link) Also, Evil Dan will be pleased to know that a complete guide and online translator is now available for l33t 5p33|
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September 12th is officially "take the piss out of September 11th" day. So share their pain as...

September 12th is officially "take the piss out of September 11th" day. So share their pain as crack whores remember 9-11, and other people share their inappropriate 9-11 behaviour.Also, I recommend everybody check out IWantOneOfThose (but don't buy anything, because this is where I'm buying everyone's Christmas presents from now on). Amuse yourself with the pocket torch ("gets hot enough to cut metal"; "customers who bought this item also bought... fake eyebrows, beer"), or splash out on your own L39 fighter jet, a steal at £150,000! ("Customers who bought this item also bought... large areas of Kazakhstan"). You could also get this really neat tiny digital camera, but I prefer this one, and have accordingly asked for it as a birthday present from my darling brothers, who surely know better than to disappoint me.
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I hear you, brother. Just had a fabulous birthday weekend in London, thanks to all who turned up...

I hear you, brother. Just had a fabulous birthday weekend in London, thanks to all who turned up and made it fun for me :-) Hope you enjoyed yourselves too, but only a little, because more than the rest of the year, my birthday weekend is all about the Me. Hmm. Actually, it's always all about me. Possible psychological problem there.
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Enjoy the inaccurately-named tribute to Ray Harryhausen; how often do you get to see Skeletor...

Enjoy the inaccurately-named tribute to Ray Harryhausen; how often do you get to see Skeletor dancing to a Japanese cover of YMCA? Only tangentially related to R.H. at best. If you're more of a fantasy fan, however, you may want to check out Lego-las, part of a whole series of Middle Earth in Lego (thanks to matt, who I now suspect is sending me links just so I have to keep linking to his site). People have way too much time on their hands. Or maybe boring jobs, like me. 8 more working days 'til Warwick! On a lighter note, find out about making fruit flies gay, and trash Tokyo while using additional peripherals with the spectacularly useless Hubzilla!
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On compulsory English speaking as a requirement for British citizenship: My probabily ill-advised...

On compulsory English speaking as a requirement for British citizenship: My probabily ill-advised 2 cents: it's obvious that living in England, where the majority of people speak English, speaking English is a useful talent. It's equally obvious that speaking English should not be a requirement to live in the UK. Citizenship, on the other hand, is a different concept that revolves around whether the state would fight for you in a war: citizen (n) 1. A person owing loyalty to and entitled by birth or naturalization to the protection of a state or nation. In return for the protection of the state (and often the right to vote), the state usually requires you to fight for them in a war (if you are able) and various other conditions apply, which vary from nation to nation. I don't think it's unreasonable for a state to request that you do certain things if you are physically & mentally capable of doing so, if you get protection and voting rights in return. However, language is not one of those things, because...
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I love the Weekly World News. Stories this week (all exclamation marks theirs): The sun will...

I love the Weekly World News. Stories this week (all exclamation marks theirs): The sun will explode in 6 years! (it's overheating, naturally) Hitler clone turns 7! (his parents hope he'll become an artist instead of an evil dictator) Bar codes for your forehead! (it will help win the war on terror, and make paying for goods a snap! Great!) Aliens capture secret NASA moon base! ("The closest I can describe them is they look like ... a clump of reeds, but with a giant head surrounded by a cloud of steam.") Investigative journalism at its finest, I think you'll agree. Also, remember how I said Python was a great language? Well, now you can play DDR on your PC using this Python DDR clone. Amazing. If that doesn't appeal, you can read this review of The Scorpion King ("wows audiences, repressed homosexuals"). And I know I'm laying it on kinda thick today, but you should really find the time to read Ridiculopathy, including such classic headlines as "Terror suspects cleared; remain foreign-looking" and "The...
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Microsoft TNEF file decoder

This page lets you unpack them. I love the Internet.
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Top of the mornin' to ye. I've been browsing Freshmeat a lot recently (word to the clueless: it's...

Top of the mornin' to ye. I've been browsing Freshmeat a lot recently (word to the clueless: it's about software. Not meat), and it's really quite fascinating. Today's interesting tidbit is Boot and Nuke, a self-contained operating system that fits on a single floppy. Its single purpose in life is to completely destroy the data on any hard drives attached to the computer into which it is inserted. This of course has perfectly valid, sensible applications for computer security. It also means you can give a clueless person you don't like a single floppy disk, tell them it's got a cool game which needs to reboot to work, and enjoy. This year is going to be interesting. The exam boards have fucked up royally, giving students lower grades than they should have received, because of pressure that A-levels are now too easy. So now nobody knows whether they got rejected when they shouldn't have because of mark-fixing, or whether they got accepted when they shouldn't have because the exams were too easy. Meanwhile,...
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There's not been a whole lot of blog this week, because I've been working really hard. So you'll...

There's not been a whole lot of blog this week, because I've been working really hard. So you'll have to go find the fun stuff yourself, be it from Gagpipe, Memepool, FARK, or Slashdot, or latterly Google News. Ever wondered where I find this stuff? That's where. Oh, and don't forget to keep reading the story about the baby. It's not over 'til she crashes the car. Appallingly tasteless joke of the day: New York, New York: so good, they whacked it twice! I'd have posted that on September 11th, when I heard it, except I was being stupidly sentimental at the time.
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Last day at IBM Hursley today; back to Warwick! Woohoo! In other news, there may be life on Venus....

Last day at IBM Hursley today; back to Warwick! Woohoo! In other news, there may be life on Venus. Just microbes, but hey, it's life, maybe there'll be more than we expect? Because everything we know is wrong anyway. Meanwhile, the Weekly World News has infiltrated Al-Qaeda. Good going, guys.
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Back at Warwick! Living on campus rocks. Being the tech support for the campus network rocks not...

Back at Warwick! Living on campus rocks. Being the tech support for the campus network rocks not very much at all. Two nights with
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Anyone fancy a new ice age? I thought it was cold yesterday...

Anyone fancy a new ice age? I thought it was cold yesterday...
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