It seemed funny at the time

posted 08 March 2007

So, this is going to be me talking about a dream I had. If you hate hearing people talk about their dreams, tune out now. I personally like hearing about the crazy shit our subconscious comes up with, so I share my own.

So, for some reason I'm in a bar. The barman has a strong Irish accents. I'm not a customer of the bar, though, I'm more like a trainee. The barman is filling me in on the tricks of the trade, and this includes, naturally, the drinking habits of whales: "Your mink whale, that's a smallish whale with small eyes, whisky sour, and it'll drink you under, under, under the table. Completely shit faced," he says, in his charming accent. "White whales now, they'll drink you under, under, under, under, under, under the table and completely under water. Absolutely paralytic." This was accompanied by an infographic of these two types of whale on a nearby screen, showing them sinking to different depths with little stylised bottles of alcohol and double-Xs for eyes.

For some reason, this was so hilarious that I woke up laughing, and laughed continuously for half a minute, and felt compelled to write it down. Which is why, this morning, I woke up next to a pad with these words on it, and decided to share it with you.

The bar is, I guess, because I've been in a lot of bars recently. The Irishman is easy -- my landlady's ex-boyfriend, who installed my blinds (it's a long story) is Irish. The infographic was ripped straight out of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Whales are because I was recently looking up the movie Star Trek IV, because (as Josh reminded me) there's a scene in which you can see the Golden Gate from the windows of Starfleet Command, and I was wondering where the building would have had to have been to actually get that view (I think on Marin County headlands, but I'm not certain).

In other news...

I've not got any of my bank cards yet, but money has started turning up in my online-accessible bank accounts, so I've been able to pay my bills and I'm generally feeling a bit more positively disposed towards the world. I still think Citibank sucks, though.

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