I Resolve To Never Be On The Same Social Networking Site As My Children

posted 29 August 2007

I have created a a group on Facebook. Here is its description:

We've all seen it happening. As Facebook expands to cover the whole Internet, more and more people join who seem less and less... appropriate. Your school principal. The CEO of your company. Your boss. Your parents. It's just no good. How can you express yourself via risque status messages if you know your mum is reading? How can you talk about hating your job when your boss is in your network?

It's time to call a halt. It's time to enforce the generational gap necessary to maintain a free and open social net. And it starts with you.

By joining this group, you resolve to never, ever, belong to the same social networking site as your children. Probably, you don't need to do anything right now. You probably don't have kids, or they might be too young. Just make sure you delete your MySpace profile before they're old enough to find it... and those skanky pictures of your drug-addled, blind-drunk self on Facebook, looking for "random play".

Of course, your kids might never join Facebook. This whole web 2.0 thing will probably crash and burn just like the web 1.0 bubble did. Facebook might get sued out of existence by those ConnectU guys. MySpace may spontaneously become sentient and start cybernetically controlling Ted Turner. Who knows?

Just make sure you never, ever inflict the horror upon your children of crashing their social-networking party.

(And to those of you whose parents are already on Facebook, and therefore cannot join this group because your parents would see it in your news stream and be offended... you have my pity. And you also understand why this is so necessary.)

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