Currently on Hulu, I am forced to watch -- 3 times per every half hour -- an ad for a product called Regenerist Eye Derma-Pod Anti-Aging Triple Response System. In addition to the reality-warping product name, it comes with this mind-blowing copy:
Regenerist Eye Derma-Pod puts the benefits of three treatments at your fingertips...for radiant, younger-looking eyes.Here's my specific objections:
Resurfaces â€” regenerates surface cells, revealing younger-looking skin
Decongests puffiness â€” massage helps remove excess undereye fluids
Fills lines and wrinkles â€” microspheres help fill creases for a smoother look
- What does regenerist mean? Maybe it's just a brand name, so I might let it pass
- What is a derma-pod? It translates to "stuff you put on your skin", i.e. it's a cream.
- The "Triple response" is actually all one function. It's like putty you plaster over the cracks in your face.
- What is a "radiant" eye? Eyes do not glow, so this one is pretty much pure bullshit.
- How exactly does it regenerate surface cells? The surface cells of skin are dead. You can't reanimate them. Nor can a topical cream cause your skin to grow more cells, the other possible meaning of "regenerate". This is also clearly bullshit.
- How do you "decongest" puffiness? Puffy skin is not caused by congestion. And if massage helps remove excess under-eye fluid, then what is the cream for? You can massage your face without it.
- Microspheres? This means "very small balls". That you are pushing into the cracks in your face. Grreat.
This is not even a particularly egregious example. All US cosmetic advertising (and there's a lot of it on Hulu) is similarly inane. Are there regulations about this crap? What you can and cannot say? I can't find any.