Oh my god you'll never guess what happened
Come quick it's a matter of life and death
Oh no oh no the world is ending
The excitement never ends

I'm glitzy, ditzy, I'm the drama queen
Spend life bouncing from crisis to crisis
I make up for my life's dullness
Playing up everyone else's

Every day an emotional adventure
Will I laugh, will I shout, or will I weep?
Shall I call rescue services
Who won't I talk to this week?

He's life-changing, a god amongst men
This could be the one, he's my new boyfriend
I think this one might last forever
If he's still here in September

Oh my god it's a such disaster
Everybody gather round comfort me
I'll be the center of attention
Look, I'm crying, come and see!

Fabulous, amazing, oh fantastic!
It's the greatest thing the world has known!
Come and see my latest gadget
'Til the next fad rolls around

I'm glitzy, ditzy, I'm the drama queen
Spend life bouncing from crisis to crisis
I make up for my life's dullness
Playing up everyone else's

Did you hear what he said and what she replied?
Oh it's so funny, I think I might die!
For tales of failed relationships
You just can't get better than this

Get on the phone, call everyone you know
Quick spread the news, it's dead important!
I'm a link in every grapevine
Gossip-queen, I feel so potent

Life is dull and I spice it up nicely
With a new life-ending crisis nightly
Screaming, crying down the phone
Get that old adrenaline flow

How on earth would you cope without me?
How would you know what was going on in town?
How would you know who slept with who?
Admit it, you need me around

Everyone needs that one crazy friend
The lunatic element keeping you sharp
To keep the fires of friendship burning
You always need one random spark