From a recent letter to the editor in Tennessee:
The actions taken by the New Hampshire Episcopalians (INDUCTING A GAY BISHOP) are an affront to Christians everywhere. I am just thankful that the church's founder, Henry VIII, and his wife Catherine of Aragon, and his wife Anne Boleyn, and his wife Jane Seymour, and his wife Anne of Cleves, and his wife Katherine Howard, and his wife Catherine Parr are no longer here to suffer through this assault on traditional Christian marriages.
Meanwhile, in Massachusetts* the supreme court has knocked over the first constitutional domino to striking down all the mini-DOMAs across the states. Today is, actually, a great day for that reason alone. Fuck you bigots, all. The world will just have to get used to the fact that who I spend the rest of my life with is none of their business, and they don't get to deny my husband rights just because they disapprove. And yes, I'll call him my husband, not my partner or my lover or my significant other, and you'll have to get used to that, too. There will be no pussyfooting around the issue of my husband's sex, and on the off-chance that I get married by a priest (maybe I'll marry a Catholic; wouldn't that be hilarious?), he will pronounce us Husband and Husband.
I dunno, I'm tired and hence emotional, but right now I feel like finding all the straight people in the world**, smacking them in the face and saying "HAW-haw", Nelson-style. I think this may be because being closeted at work is getting to me: I'm not secure enough in my job yet to rock the boat, and I'm unsure whether my boss is gay-friendly or not. Of course, since now I'm pretty sure everyone at work has noticed my blog, there's a chance they're reading this. So: if you're a work colleague of mine, and you read this, and being gay is no problem, mention to me at work that "the password is tomato". If being gay is a problem for you, the password is "lettuce", but you'd be better off keeping your intolerant mouth shut. I'm busy enough without having to deal with social throwbacks.
* Which reporters the world over are now having to learn how to spell, at gunpoint in some cases.
*** Of course, one of my brothers is fastidiously tidy, the other spends the GDP of Nigeria on hair products, and both have spent heavily on kitchen appliances recently, so I'm no longer sure about either of them.