Ah, the Dow: my favourite spectator's sport. What will it do today? Will it plunge downwards again, prompting panicked articles about the crash of 2002? Or will it rocket skywards, prompting traders to write articles that sound like they're on crack? We'll have to wait and see. But whatever happens, I hope the guy who wrote that last article gets to write more. What was he, drunk? The article makes no sense at all, I strongly recommend reading it.
Of course, if that isn't entertaining enough for you, you could head over to Typorganism (these people are nuts, BTW) and try out the automatic ascii-art generator. Fun! Upload your picture, and see your face in print.