Fuck bars

My week started well, but then rapidly declined. Work was shit because of infrastructural issues that prevented my doing anything useful, which frustrated me no end. Home life was stressful because of having to juggle prospective flatmates and current flatmates (although hopefully by the end of tonight that will have been sorted as they seem to like them all, and vica versa. Once I get my deposit back I'm not too bothered). Then my already crap mood was then deepened by the mistake of spending several hours at a bar.

First, let's define:

Quiet, spacious establishment with lots of tables and comfy chairs, and an uncrowded bar with friendly serving wenches/whatever the male equivalent of a wench is (lad?)
Crowded, noisy establishment with no chairs to be found and loads of little ledges for leaning drinks on and not much else. Frequently also full of smoke, and compound the conversational noise with music.

I mean, I realise that alcohol is fun and everything, even if I don't do it myself. But is there any reason to imbibe it in such awful venues? What part of the prospect of standing up in a smoky room screaming at each other is the lure?

Clearly the market has already solved here, so I guess it's an equation of the cost of drinks at spacious places versus places that cram them in like sardines. I guess the music is useful for disguising the fact that stupid people aren't actually capable of coming up with enough conversation to fill the five hours of drinking time they desire. The smoke is because future cancer patients are inconsiderate bastards, and no-one's banned it yet. And the public drinking establishments exist because drinking at home is inconvenient for meeting people who you may not know very well.

I can see all those arguments and understand why bars exist. I just resent the fact that I'm forced to go to one when the primary argument for going to one is a socioeconomic argument that doesn't apply to me since cokes cost £1.50 practically anywhere you go. I've been nice about it to date: just because I don't drink I don't want to force my choice on others. But enough is enough. It's not that I don't like bars, it's that bars actively suck, and the only reason people put up with them is the drinks prices. People who want to meet me out and about will have to learn to love late-night cafes and quiet restaurants, because I'm boycotting bars from here on in.