You know what's pointless and stupid and repetitive? Online quizzes, that's what. And I'm on vacation, so I have plenty of time to do pointless repetitive things! It's raining today -- and I mean raining, the kind of torrential downpour that leaves you thinking about the possibility of flash flooding and mudslides -- so the ritual repetition of "suntan, burn, apply aftersun" is unavailable to me, and in any case, my burn from yesterday is still going, so I should probably take a break. So quizzes it is. These are mainly via Jon and Elfy, who appear to spend their lives duplicating each other.

First up:

You scored as Nerd Cat. Holy crap, poindexter. Try buying some new specs instead of taping them together. Yeah, Bill Gates made a lot of money, but he's also the devil. You've got a long way to go. Couch Potato Cat 50% Nerd Cat 50% Love Machine Cat 50% Derranged Cat 42% Pissed at the World Cat 25% Ninja Cat 8% Drunk Cat 0% Which Absurd Cat are you? created with QuizFarm.com

The geek label was pretty much a given, but I'm worried that I was equally likely to be a couch potato or a sex machine. What do those three classifications have in common, exactly?

Next...

You scored as alternative. You're partially respected for being an individual in a conformist world yet others take you as a radical. You have no place in society because you choose not to belong there - you're the luckiest of them all, even if your parents are completely ashamed of you. Just don't take drugs ok? alternative 63% Upper middle Class 58% Middle Class 46% Lower Class 46% Luxurious Upper Class 42% What Social Status are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Muwahahaha! I'm not upper middle class! In your face! I revel in my alternative credibility! I'm going to go and start a rock band called the Puking Hail Marys now, featuring songs with no lyrics or music or, indeed, any sort of effort required at all because Art Is Dead.

I object strongly to this next result:

You are 32% geek

You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator. Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend. You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines! Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals! You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

This is mainly because I couldn't be bothered to calculate the average number of tracks per CD on a per-genre basis. Also, my iPod has shorted out in the humidity (hello, genius bar?).

And last (and least, why not?), a meme that I'm doing mainly because I found I could come up with the answers quickly (I'm taking "friends list" as "MSN contacts list" since I never use my LiveJournal login to which this refers):

Name a CD you own that no-one else on your friends list does:

I am positive that nobody else I know owns a copy of Marilyn Manson's "Holy Wood (in the Valley of the Shadow of Death)". Bless my little wannabe-goth tendencies; he was never any good after Mechanical Animals though.

Name a book you own that no-one else on your friends list does:

Lots, I'm sure, but I'm quite fond of my collection (mainly in Trinidad) of ancient pulp books, so I'll choose Earth is Room Enough, a collection of Asimov's early short stories including one on the origin of jokes which has remained in my memory.

Name a movie you own on DVD/VHS/whatever that no-one else on your friends list does:

I'm also willing to bet that nobody else has a copy of The Swarm, an excellent late-1970s B-movie incidentally starring Michael Caine. B-movies are so much more entertaining than the crap we get these days. Hint: B-movies are a Good Gift Idea.

Name a place that you have visited that no-one else on your friends list has:

Well, saying "Trinidad" is just a bit too easy and in any case inaccurate, since a few people on my list are Trinis too. My world travels are pretty limited, but I'll guess no one else has climbed to the top of the lighthouse at the top of Chacachacare, or for that matter the salt pond or the abandoned leper colony buildings (see? colonies have history too!).