16 April, 2002

No reason to Hide

You can't do it, even though you want to
You can't say it, you're too terrified.
You can't be that, what will all the others think?
You can't see that that you are blind.

You can't do it, what will all the others say?
Terrified if they tell you to your face
But far worse then if you cannot hear them
Whispered secrets to put you in your place

Muffled giggles haunt your imagination
Before you've even had the thought
How sad the way you're such a willing slave
To doing what you think you ought

***
You're so desperate
To be adored
You can't be yourself
Anymore
Give up on this life
Give up on this lie
Give up on this day
I swear it's alright
[You] Don't have to read the rules
To know this game
You can change the board
And have the world your way
Throw away all the lies
And only keep what you need to survive
***

You admit it, you've always felt this way
You can't stop the feelings, but you can hold them in
The guilt you're feeling is sadly misdirected
Holding back your feelings is the one true sin

But one of these days, you're gonna slip
The feelings come so often now, so quickly and so strong
You're living in fear of the day that your control will break
You're terrified of doing something wrong

But there's something, you even hide it from yourself
Hide it from the hidden spirit dancing in your soul
Nothing's stopping you from being what you want to be
Criticising your life isn't anybody's role

There's only one thing that's slowing down and blocking you,
It's a treasured lie, our oldest greatest tale
The myth that someone's watching you and judging you
The myth that someone gives a damn whether you win or you fail

But no one gives a damn whether your ass lives or dies
That hurts because you used to be so VIP
There's no "they" to think better or worse of you
Why would they care? Why would they want to see?

Mom and dad, they will get right over it
All your friends can handle it, you'll find that way too easy
And what does it matter if they don't get over it?
Where's the rule that says they have to be happy?

The boundaries are imaginary,
The walls are only in your mind
Society is there to build them
Your conscience here to keep you blind

You can do exactly what you want to,
You won't even have to try,
Just take an hour by yourself
Find your heart and let it fly

So now relax
Releasing all that hopeless pride,
And revel in
Having nothing left to hide.

You can't do it, even though you want to. You're too terrified. What will everyone else think? Will they say anything? If they don't say anything it'll be even worse, they'll just think those damning thoughts and whisper them sideways behind cupped hands or turned backs. You've always felt like this, you've always had the little urges, you've always held them back. But they're getting too strong now, there are too many of them, too often. You're gonna act up one of these days and you're living in fear of your own identity. You can do what you want, this is something you try to hide from yourself, a fact you're trying to hide from that inner person dancing in your soul. Nothing's stopping you from living exactly how you want to live but yourself. It's the world's greatest myth, you can't do that, or what would they THINK? Who the hell are they? And why the hell should they care? Mommy and daddy will get over it, your friends will handle it, and does it matter if they don't? The boundaries are imaginary, the walls are only in your mind, society is there to build them, your conscience there to keep you blind. You can do exactly what you want to, you won't even have to try, just take an hour, take yourself, and let your inner spirit fly. Those muscles you have clenched so tight, so long you don't even know they're there, relax, release your hopeless pride. You'll find you have nothing to hide.