There's a beauty in my life,
A beauty all the world can see.
A beauty that cuts like a knife,
A beauty that's denied to me.
The beauty has me in its grip,
It's perfect, each and every way.
But I can never make a slip,
And give my guilty thoughts away.
The beauty there is not for me,
And I'm the only one that sees it.
My life's a painful irony,
A joke that no one else will get.
I take a hundred thousand glances,
Out the corner of my eye.
Each day I take a million chances,
But I keep up my life's great lie.
A masterpiece of shape and fit,
Exists for all the world to see.
But I cannot gaze upon it,
The ones who look can't include me.
My beauty's eyes are magnetized,
I barely pull my gaze away,
But never will those magnet eyes
Turn to my face and ever stay.
Oh how I want to gaze forever
At that beauty pure and sweet!
How I know that I will never
That ambition ever meet!
Does the beauty want to face me?
Does the beauty turn my way?
Does the beauty wish to meet me?
Would my beauty ever say?
No, I know the answers there,
Though I wish the truth were lie.
If there's a beauty out there somewhere,
It hides itself as well as I.
Every day I taste the scent
Of the world's finest bouquet.
And though I'll always long to sip,
The cup will never pass my way.
Yes, the wine that is my beauty
Is a deep and potent brew,
And though there's wine to fill the sea,
The fates tell me "it's not for you."
My days are filled with painful glances,
For the pleasure they provide.
But for every glance I take,
My pain is tenfold magnified.
For mine is a pain of cold denial,
The denial of an empty space.
A space created by a question,
With nothing in the answer's place.
Each day I die a little more,
As I steal another glance.
But I will never close the door,
As long as there remains a chance...
I have a terrible secret,
It's wrapped in guilt and shame.
And until I give it to the world,
I cannot name my beauty's name!