So rough, so tough, so insecure
So loud, so proud, shit-scared
This lad know that he's being stupid
But his judgement is impaired

Thirty pints of lager, mate
He can really take his ale
Throws up every night until
The day his liver fails

Loves his footie, loves his curry
Scalds his tongue with vindaloo
Doesn't matter how it tastes
His mates can eat it, he can too

Early morning, we've been clubbing
Far too hard for alcopop
Now it's time to start the fighting
'Cause the party never stops

In his brain alarm bells ringing
This is stupid, dangerous
Why are kicking this kid
What's he ever done to us?

He can't stop or they won't like him
He's got to be a lad
He's got to follow but who's leading?
He'll end up just like his dad

Dad knows that he's patriotic
'Cause he spent a whole week's wages
On his precious season ticket
Doesn't know his children's ages

He's got a bird, she looks alright
He's knocked her over once or twice
But she loves him anyway
She's pregnant, so she's got to stay

Soon he'll have a little lad
Who looks up to big strong dad
And makes all the same mistakes
His life is just a big piss-take.