Thank you for not also stealing my gloves, my headphones, my book, my glasses, my house keys, my hands free kit, my ID, my umbrella, or any of the other stuff that was in my bag. And how on earth did you manage to steal my bag when it was right next to me? Also, why did you steal the passport photo I used as a name label if you didn't steal the bag? Did you just wimp out at the last second?

I really liked that coat. Bastard.