The Segway company is recalling all of its products because when the batteries run down -- unsurprisingly, in retrospect -- you fall off and hurt yourself. All the Segways, I hear you ask? Yep, all of 'em, including the test models and the commercial ones used by the postal carriers. How many does that come to?

6,000 units.

So, sales been a little slow then huh?

* Surprisingly, not a joke about the Californian election.