[{"_1":2,"_31":-5,"_32":-5},"loaderData",{"_3":4},"routes/__layout/tag.$name",{"_5":6,"_7":8},"tagName","emotional pain","posts",[9],{"_10":11,"_12":13,"_14":15,"_16":17,"_18":19,"_20":21,"_22":23,"_24":25,"_26":-5,"_27":28,"_29":30},"id",860,"title","Can't Forgive You (Natural structure)","excerpt","A poem about a fractured relationship with my father, a man I loved who became my enemy. I'm desperate to forgive him but the wounds won't heal. I hate what he's become while mourning who he was.","body","\r
\n\r
\n

When did it go wrong?\r
\nWhen did we lose touch?\r
\nWhen did you become a man\r
\nI saw but couldn't touch?\r
\n\r
\n

When did you stop listening,\r
\nWas it before I stopped talking?\r
\nWhy did we still drift apart\r
\nWhen we both saw it happening?\r
\n\r
\n

Did we want it to stop?\r
\nWas it out of control?\r
\nSome predetermined plot,\r
\nPart of some greater whole?\r
\n\r
\n

You thought you knew me,\r
\nBut you only knew yourself.\r
\nKnew what you thought of me,\r
\nListened to no one else.\r
\n\r
\n

So when I said what I said,\r
\nThings you didn't want to hear,\r
\nThe things you weren't expecting,\r
\nYou gave in to your fear.\r
\n\r
\n

You unleashed words that stung\r
\nThat cut me to the bone,\r
\nThat tore my confidence away\r
\nAnd left me all alone.\r
\n\r
\n

I feared the wounds were mortal,\r
\nBut I only bled inside\r
\nWe told each other \"it's okay\"\r
\nAnd both knew we had lied.\r
\n\r
\n

I don't know how I hurt you,\r
\nYou only hurt yourself,\r
\nBut I know how you hurt me\r
\nAnd can think of nothing else.\r
\n\r
\n

My wounds still bleed, they will not heal,\r
\nnot with time or change of heart.\r
\nNo amount of soothing speech\r
\nWill smooth away my scars.\r
\n\r
\n

I love you for the man you were,\r
\nAnd hate what you've become.\r
\nMy best friend has turned enemy,\r
\nThe man who killed his son.\r
\n\r
\n

I do not want to hate you,\r
\nI'm desperate to forgive,\r
\nBut my pain will not let me,\r
\nYou're guilty while you live.\r
\n\r
\n

Every time I see your face\r
\nI hear the echoes of your voice,\r
\nYou're hoping for forgiveness\r
\nBut you've left me with no choice\r
\n\r
\n\r
\n\r
\nWhen did it go wrong? When did we lose touch? When did you become a man I saw but couldn't touch? When did you stop listening, was it before I stopped talking? Why did we still drift apart when we both knew it was happening and wanted it to stop? Was that not something we could control, some predetermined plot? I know you thought you knew me, but you only knew yourself. You knew what you thought of me, and wouldn't listen to anyone else. So when I said the things I said, the things you didn't want to hear, the things you weren't expecting, you gave in to your darkest fear. You unleashed words with bite and sting that cut me to the bone, that ripped my confidence away and left me all alone. I feared those wounds were mortal, but I only bled inside. We told each other \"it's okay\" and both knew we had lied. I don't know how I hurt you, when you only hurt yourself, but I know how you hurt me and can think of nothing else. My wounds still bleed, they will not heal, not with time or change of heart. No amount of soothing speech will smooth away my scars. I love you for the man you were, and hate what you've become. My best friend has turned enemy, a man who killed his son. I do not want to hate you, I'm desperate to forgive, but my pain will not let me, you're guilty once you live. Every time I see your face I hear the echoes of those words, I try to give you comfort but the scars reopen on my hands.\r
\n\r
\n\r
\n","updated",["D",1035015057000],"created",["D",1035015057000],"codename","cant_forgive_you_natural_structure","legacy_id","2463","thumbnailUrl","published",["D",1035015057000],"draft",false,"actionData","errors"]

Posts tagged “emotional pain”