Awful Gays vs. Awful Nerds
Isaac and I were chatting about our respective subcultures, geeks and gays*, and we noted that both groups have a bad reputation in certain quarters. In both cases, the bad reputation stems from a tiny minority who take some parts of the lifestyle** to unnecessary and irritating extremes, while neglecting some of the better parts. I call the homosexual variant of this breed "awful gays" (a term borrowed from Matt Lock), so we decided to call the other side awful nerds.
Twenty minutes in a Google spreadsheet later, we had hammered out a pretty good list of direct and indirect parallels between these two aggravating groups. If a couple of these sound like you, don't worry: we all have a little awful inside of us. But if all of these sound like you, you should probably take action, preferably something that involves me never meeting you.
| Awful Gays | Awful Nerds |
| Affected lisp | Affected lack of social skills |
| Wears makeup | Wears a pocket protector |
| Plucks eyebrows | Doesn't shave (but probably should) |
| Has never had a relationship | Has never had a relationship |
| Has a little dog | Has an epic mount |
| Wears clothing appropriate for somebody 5 years younger | Spends an inordinate amount of time outfitting his WoW characters |
| Everything he knows about gays he learned from Bravo | everything he knows about computers he learned from Slashdot comments |
| Is a total slut | Doesn't leave the house |
| Achieves nothing | Achieves nothing |
| Has no real fashion sense | Can't code |
| Is misogynistic | Is misogynistic |
| Will buy anything rainbow-coloured | Will buy anything from ThinkGeek |
| Speaks in shebonics | Speaks Klingon |
| Reads celebrity gossip rags | reads Popular Science |
| "I am so over that bar." | "This site used to be interesting, but now it's as bad as Digg." |
| Endlessly talks about vaginas, often mentioning fish | Hates Windows, but has never used anything else |
| Spends entire life at gay clubs | Spends entire life on WoW |
| Is a hairdresser | Works at Circuit City |
| Dances. Often, and badly. | Plays chess. Often, and badly. |
| Endlessly rewatches Queer as Folk | Endessly rewatches Star Trek |
| Wears too-tight pants | Wears too-tight pants |
| Makes outsiders hate gays | Makes outsiders hate nerds |
| Was a Goth in high school | Was a Goth in high school |
| Pretends any topic of which he is ignorant is beneath him | Speaks with feigned knowledgeability on any topic, including politics, popular culture, and romance |
| Aspires to be: Nathan Lane | Aspires to be Eric S Raymond |
| Religious affiliation: Buddhism, Kabbalah, "spiritual, but not religious", Scientology | Religious affiliation (pick one): Jedi, Tolkienian, Matrix Accolyte, NeoPagan, Scientology |
I don't think I'm going to make a poster out of this one...
* though I fall into both, hence the community site for gay geeks that I run.
** insert usual caveat about there being no such thing as a "gay lifestyle", it not being a choice and there being a number of styles to choose from. Likewise, there are lots of types of geekery. Just go with us here.
